On the Absurd

Posted: April 22, 2011 in Uncategorized

The pursuit of essence is what keeps us going. Every essential thing that we do is dictated by our “central purpose”. No one lives life just for the moment. Everyone looks forward to the future.  Ask a child what he wants to be when he grows up and he’ll give you an automatic response- just a valid proof that at any stage in our life, we somehow dream to  be someone worthy of the gift of life and someone who is functional to the self and to the society as well. One who doesn’t have dreams and goals is capable of self-destruction and just drifts away in the course of life. This is a phase i have recurrently experienced at times. I am humble enough to admit that i am not yet fully well-rounded in every aspect and that i still have a lot of things to learn for me to become the person i have always wanted to become. It’s hard to hold on to my principles- I am barely hanging on, to say the least. but that’s the best thing i can do at the moment, To just hold on- because if i let go of these ideals, then I’d be one of those whose characters i strongly despise. Life is always a struggle, but life is not life without difficulties.

I remember Ayn Rand’s powerful words “Living life is not avoiding death”. These words have somehow haunted the hell out of me for years. I wouldn’t want to risk my life over anything else. I wouldn’t want to do something that would harm me. I’m afraid of problems, I’m afraid of responsibilities, I’m afraid to die. and i know this is something detrimental to the self.  how lame can life get when one gets stuck in a vacuum- completely static and afraid to take further steps to achieve progress. The demise of the body is not the exact opposite of life. Dying and living is one continuum. Physical death is not to be feared of.  Let me quote what I have written about the juxtaposition of life and death months ago.

“Death would be satisfying only when life had been fulfilling. The demise of the body is one’s sweetest reward for the exhaustion of human potentials to pursue essence. Life had been wonderful, and death is rewarding. A man who dies happily speaks volume of his worth.”

“Death would be painful only when life had been hollow. The demise of the body is one’s ultimate reminder of his failure to be happy in his life. Life had been bitter, and death is a downfall. A man who dies bitterly speaks volume of his futility.”

Living life goes beyond whims and vanity. There’s pleasure in indulging in any tangible phenomena like eating delicious food, buying fancy clothes, facebooking, sex, etc. But then again, at the end of the day, one would be haunted of the thought as to how these fleeting pleasures bring about progress in the formation of the “ideal man”. Absurdity is a phase I am encountering right now. And I’ll be damned if I let myself get stuck in this slump. I’ll my live my life the way it should be even it costs my life. This is the first step i guess. Its time to be a “man”.

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